Personal development skills are about conscious change of self. Change happens to all of us and most of it happens unconsciously. However if you are a bit like me you would like to be in charge of your own life and how it develops, would you not?
Personal development skills need to be performed with mindfulness and presence in order to make this happen. At least that is what my experience is after having struggled during most my adult life. It was not until I did specific things in a certain way that I succeeded in making real change happen.
After working with myself for more than 30 years having solved my most critical problems is a reasonable expectation. Well, as disappointing as it was I had not.
It was first when my frustration reached its critical mass so to speak, that I managed to make a decision so strong it pervaded me into the core of my essence. This constituted a major shift in my awareness and signified that the old way of how I saw myself finally had reached a point of chaos that was ready to reorganize at a higher level.
My point is this: You need to be ready for the change in order to make it happen. You need a core decision, a resolution to go through with your intention. If making a solid resolution to follow through with your conscious change process is not among your repertoire of personal development skills, you will back off long before any success will be at sight.
2: Taking responsibility
Real change did not start for me until I took full responsibility of my own thinking and behavioral patterns and realized that it was my way of viewing reality that did not serve me the way I wanted. It was my way of viewing life that created my problems rather than the other way around. Placing the responsibility upon my parents and other people and situations had prevented me from creating the progress I had sought for my whole adult life. Among all the personal development skills this is crucial.
3: Growing awareness
I started to observe my thoughts, feelings and behavior in situations I perceived as difficult. I noticed when I felt discomfort, unrest, confused and other symptoms of not handling things as well as I would like to. I discovered something interesting: Being my worst enemy became more and more impossible as my awareness of how I practiced my mind power increased.
Today I have realized that it is not possible to continue doing something that goes against my intentions when I’m totally aware. Have in mind that the opposite is also true: You are only able to act in harmful ways when you lack awareness of something.
I also discovered that the acceptance of what I noticed was vitally important for making any progress at all. The progress started first when I managed to get myself out of denial of the actual fact.
As I developed I noticed the progress increased with my ability to notice my feelings, listen carefully to my thoughts and identify more properly with what was actually happening inside me.
I realized that explaining unwanted results with what other people did, only disconnected me from the real reason and the ownership of my results and as such my possibility to change anything at all. Being able to identify fully with what is happening both inside of you and in your outer life need to be among your personal development skills.
I created a new way of talking to myself. Instead of saying “I am depressed” I said “Now I have had one or more thoughts depressing me”. And when I felt some kind of upheaval I shifted from “This is too difficult for me” to “This is part of the change process and I choose to go through with it because I have decided to create a better life for myself.”
I also changed my self-talk from defining myself in all kinds of negative ways to ask myself questions. I.e.: “What do I necessarily believe in order to think this way – or experience this?” “What thoughts can possibly have produced these feelings – or these experiences?”
You need to switch your inner self-talk from criticizing yourself to be your own most loyal partner.
During my process it became more and more obvious to me that my intention for change needed to come from a positive attitude. As long as my intention was to get away from something, the change that I wanted did not occur. As a matter of fact it was rather the opposite that happened.
I needed to shift my focus to something positive. Positive attitude also influenced my ability to let whatever was happening to me being okay. This was important because it was only then I got the power to do what needed to be done.
Changing from an overall negative thinking pattern to a positive way of thinking can be a real challenge. Early in my process I stumbled upon the most useful tool I have ever used in enhancing my personal development skills; brain entrainment. I recommend it highly as it really helps you act from a relaxed state which is important for the results you get.
When you focus you push aside all kinds of distractions to your conscious intention. When I was able to fill my mind totally with my conscious intention AND align my thoughts, feelings and actions with that intention, AND do this with clarity and strength… Then things really started to progress and change happened fast.